In The Beginning

Today is Sunday, April 25, 2010. This is the first day of my healing plan. I am 48 years old, am married, and have three children. I work as a sales representative for a major pest control company. I'm on the telephone all day and I rarely get any exercise.

I am sick and in horrible shape. I have diabetes type 2, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and high blood pressure. I weigh 223 pounds today and I hope this is the last time I will be able to say that I weigh that much.

My youngest daughter is 16 years old and she worries about me all the time. She is so frustrated with me and I understand why. I know that she's concerned about me having a heart attack or not being around. I really want to take that worry away from her. It isn't fair for her to be so filled with anxiety due to my lack of self control.

I plan to try to keep this blog updated often with the steps to my "recovery". I know that is a strange way to put it but I really feel as if that is the best word to describe this process. My body is sick. I made it that way due to my stupidity. That's right, stupidity, not ignorance. I knew every step of the way what I was doing!!!! I know what to eat and what not to eat. I know about portion control. I know that I need to exercise. I have just chosen to not do those things. I'm not sure why but hopefully I will be able to figure out my motivations as I go along.

I will post my labs each time that I have them done. I'm supposed to check my blood sugar twice a day so I will put those numbers on here as well. My food intake will be recorded online and I'll also put information regarding pitfalls and challenges.

I am a Christian who firmly believes that God is with me all the time. I have the Holy Spirit within me and he will be the force that keeps me firm and pushes me along this path. I know that God wants me to be healthy and he wants more than anything to see me feeling better. I also know that he cares very much for me and that he is extremely fond of me as a person. He is the one who will provide the healthy choices and the self-control that I will need to stay away from poor choices.

I plan to stay far away from fast-food. I do know that has been one of my downfalls for years. I realized recently that I didn't even really like fast-food, it was just a habit to eat it. With that in mind it shouldn't be difficult to stay away. I just have to remember to pack my lunch and not allow myself to get to that frantic, panicky hungry place where I will settle for anything to eat. I know I can do this and I will make sure that this time I succeed. I have to.